"You're no spring chicken!"😮🐔

The festive season is underway with lots of dates in the diary to gather with family and friends 😊

I have recently been experiencing some left knee pain, with no apparent cause, and happened to mention this to a family member (who shall remain nameless, lol!) whose response, in jest, was, "well, you're no spring chicken anymore!".

It is interesting that we have this belief/worldview that our bodies deteriorate as we age. This is especially poignant for women in Western cultures where so much emphasis is placed on staying young and youthful. 'Anti-ageing' beauty products and supplements have become a billion-dollar industry.

For women in perimenopause, menopause and in their post-menopausal years, the ‘anti-ageing’ message can hit especially hard as our bodies and our hormones are changing. It can bring up all sorts of worries and fears, not just around health and ageing, but also around the way we look, and our close relationships.

This came up in a session for my client B this week who confessed "I have continuous thoughts and worries going around in my head about my husband looking at other women, especially younger women". This was despite having a very long, happy and healthy marriage and an adoring husband. When we started digging into this, what was arising for healing for B was rooted in insecurities that stemmed from when she had first met her husband in her 20's: At that time, because of a traumatic event in her teens related to a family member's alcoholism, B believed that neither she, or her family, were 'good enough'. She felt judged because of this relative’s behaviour, and that it had marred her, and her family’s, reputation.

So many women, me included, carry this belief that some part of us is 'not good enough'. And all of the media messaging around being and looking perfect, and youth equating with beauty, can be very triggering, even when we understand that it is just a message, not the truth.

Healing our deep wounds and insecurities means we are no longer triggered, and this is extremely liberating.

After clearing and healing the shame, embarrassment and subsequent feelings of low-self worth related to that incident in her teens, B felt “lighter, liberated.. I realised the shame I was carrying wasn’t mine. I feel more confident and realise I am not the ‘lucky one’ in this marriage; my husband is lucky to have me!”

Our bodies are amazing. I personally know many women in their 60's, 70's and 80's who are living healthy and vibrant lives, some able to do yoga poses I dream of achieving! As it turned out my knee pain had nothing to do with ageing. Knee symptoms are connected to feeling we are not moving in the right direction, and symptoms on the left side of the body are related to the future. (Right-sided symptoms are to do with the past.) Once I released this fear, which was around where a professional relationship was heading, my knee pain disappeared..

Age is just a number, and changing our thoughts around getting older has a major impact on confidence and vitality

And there is nothing more beautiful than a woman in her power.

Melissa x